Broken Best Friends
by ReconditeAgony
Summary: Natasha learns the truth about Clint's whereabouts from Rhodey and is upset when she has to come to terms with it. After the events five years ago, she comes up with a horrible conclusion that might be a reason for Clint's actions. She is as broken as he is.


"Where are you?"

"Mexico."

She nodded, acknowledging his whereabouts. She thought maybe things would be a little better. The next part he described was seeing bodies everywhere. She was sure it was just some usual stuff. He though knew it wasn't the case. He had to break it to her.

"It's definitely Barton." His voice was almost pained when he said this.

Her posture stiffened, her eyes widened with horror, her ears began ringing, and her heart began beating fast from the shock. At first, she didn't want to believe it. It had to be some stupid joke, right? She tried telling herself that for several seconds before Rhodey spoke again, this time, his tone much more solemn than before.

"What he's done to you, what he's been doing in the last few years... I mean the scene that he left... I gotta tell you there's a part of me that doesn't even want to find him."

Natasha blinked several times, feeling tears build up in her eyes. This was the last thing she expected to hear about. Her best friend who she had known for years was on this killing rampage? All she wanted to know at this point was to find out where him so that she could make a flight to his location and bring him home.

"Will you find out where he's going next?" asked she before taking a bite of her sandwich.

Rhodey could see the anguish in her eyes and he couldn't blame her for showing it. He knew that the redhead and Clint had known each other for a long time and had become longtime friends. Seeing her react this way was more than enough show Rhodey how upset she was.

"Nat," began he, shaking his head and seeing his friend was dangerously close to tears.

Her eyes were wide, fighting to hold back her tears. She still didn't want to believe that Clint was causing such heinous acts in Mexico nor did she want to believe that he didn't even consider coming back to the compound. Unfortunately, the tone in Rhodey's voice told her otherwise. He meant it. She still wanted to know Clint's whereabouts.

"Please?" pleaded she. She was desperate.

The man on her screen didn't answer, worried that it would hurt her more than how much he already revealed to her. He looked at her, sorrow in his eyes before he shut off his screen, leaving her completely alone.

Natasha was forced to let the news sink into her core. It took her a while to accept the news about Clint's actions, but when she did, she didn't bother holding back her tears and what followed were her quiet sobs. She pressed her hands together against her face in a prayer-like position as she cried. She couldn't believe that her best friend Clint was responsible for the bodies in Mexico that Rhodey said he saw.

She didn't want to know why at first, but after the Decimation, she made a terrible conclusion that Clint must've lost his family from that. That must've been why he was going off and killing people.

Just when the redhead thought things couldn't get any worse after the Decimation, hearing about Clint's grief-stricken rage that led to these deaths broke her completely.

She wanted to find his location then bring him back here, but a part of her was scared about what he would do if she showed up. Would he try to kill her too? Would he shut her out completely? She wasn't sure, but she didn't want to know either.

_Why, Clint, why?_ she thought, still crying over hearing what Rhodey told her.

Natasha looked down at the rest of her sandwich, heartbroken and sick to her stomach. Her heart ached more painfully than after watching her friends disappear from the snap. She knew Clint was equally as grief-stricken as she was, but the thought of him going on this rampage sickened her completely. It got to the point that she wasn't even sure if she wanted to finish her sandwich. All she could think about was what she could do, whether to go find her best friend or not.

There was one thing that she knew; she and Clint were broken best friends, suffering from grief so profound that it was difficult to put into words. They lost friends and family either prior or after the snap.

The thought was too painful for Natasha to bear as she cried more. It had been five years, yet the anguish was far too raw that felt like someone punched a huge hole in her chest. This time, she really began to doubt that it would ever be healed. Especially after the complete failure five years ago, she couldn't bear it.

Her heart sank and she knew that she couldn't bear just sitting there and watch her best friend suffer. She wanted to find him fast before anything worse could happen. She wanted to bring him back here as soon as possible.

The only thing she heard for the next several seconds were more of her quiet, anguished sobs that nearly shook her whole body. The truth was out, and she couldn't put a mask over her true feelings. She was just as emotionally broken as her best friend was and cheering up seemed to be the farthest thing from her mind.

"I'm so sorry, Clint," said she sadly, her voice was cracking. "We've both lost someone we're close to. We're both as broken as each other."

She didn't say anymore after that. Instead, she hugged her knees close to her chest then she sobbed again, her heartache was brutal. She wished there was a way to heal her anguish, but after hearing the news from Rhodey and adding the horrible conclusion she made, healing was the last thing on her mind.

Through her tears, she saw a sticky note close by and a pen. This gave her an idea, though she was still in her sorrowful state of mind. With hands shaking, she wrote down five words, some of her tears fell on the note.

_We need you here, Clint._

**...**

**Hey guys! I did see Endgame and honestly, it's a fantastic movie. There were a lot more funny scenes than I expected and there were some scenes that I nearly cried over. Honestly, you'll love it.**

**I wrote this little one-shot because I was feeling a little miserable and sad for hardly any reason. Whenever I'm sad, I'm usually more prone to being in the mood to write sad stuff. Don't mind me. This was kind of an expansion of the scene when Natasha does learn about Clint's whereabouts and her reaction, before Steve comes in to talk to her.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, guys. :)**


End file.
